Dear Humans, it’s not me, it’s you

We’ve been together a long time you and I. Two hundred thousand years is nothing to snuff at. I know we have had our ups and downs but I think as a whole we’ve had a good run.

It’s been fun to watch you grow and change. Your ability to reinvent yourself is amazing. You make me laugh, dance and sometimes sing with joy. You are truly unique and I am glad I got to spend so much time with you.

But lately, I haven’t been feeling so great. I feel that you no longer respect me and that you don’t listen to me anymore. I think it’s time we really hashed this out because what I have tried in the past is obviously not getting through.

The pattern just keeps repeating. After every storm or fire I throw at you to get your attention, you cower for a bit and say you will change but after a while you just go back to your old habits.

Your behaviour is really starting to piss me off. I can’t stand the way you leave your trash all over the place. Why can’t you pick up after yourself? Instead, you let all your filth, your personal pollution, leach into every aspect of our lives together. It’s in our tap water, the ground we walk on and in the air we breathe. It’s suffocating me. I can’t breathe when we are together. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.

And to top it off you have been hurting the rest of the family. I have tried to protect them as best I can. They have minds of their own and generally can take care of themselves but you have been taking advantage of them. Just because they can’t speak for themselves doesn’t mean they don’t feel, that they don’t bleed. You need to back the F off. Let them live in peace.

But to do that you need to make some big changes.

You need to stop going where you don’t belong. Not everyone likes you the way I do. I don’t know what you have been smoking but there is nothing in a rhino horn or the stomach of a bear that will benefit you. You have been sold a bill of goods. Just stick with the simple things and leave the rest alone.

You also need to stop drinking so much. There is only so much to go around and you are wasting what we have left.

Basically, you need to stop thinking about just yourself. There are others in this relationship you know and it’s about time you realize that you need me. You are so distracted with your work and your career that you have forgotten about the things that I do for you. Where would you get your precious drink without me? Who would provide your food without my effort? Who would provide the roof over your head or the air you breathe if I wasn’t here. You wouldn’t last long if I was to take those all away now would you?

Why can’t you see that?

I have also heard rumors that you are looking for someplace else to live. That you are thinking if you run far enough away, all the things that bother you here will go away. But that’s not how it works. You take your problems with you where ever you go. You need to sort out your shit here and now. You may think the grass is greener over there but trust me it isn’t. All you will accomplish by running to another place is opening up a pandora’s box of new trouble.

Stick with me and I promise I will make it worth your while.

You see, if you are willing to change your behaviour, I promise I will give you all the food you love. All that summer fruit and fresh bread and yes, even some healthy lean meat if you like, to keep you strong for years to come.

I promise to be less moody and emotional by keeping the storms and fires to a minimum. I can’t promise there won’t be ups and downs. Every relationship has them. But if we take the time to talk to each other, then we can find new ways of doing things that benefit us both.

And if you are really devoted to change, I promise to continue putting on all those pretty sunrises and sunsets you love.

Because if you don’t, if you continue along this path you insist on, I will be hell to live with. And I won’t let you go for bad behaviour. Instead, you will have to put up with my anger day after day.

I will be merciless. The storms will rage, the fires will burn, the insects will plague and the viruses will spread. You have already witnessed some of what I can do. You really don’t want to see how far I can take this.

To be honest, I really don’t want to rage. It’s unbalanced and exhausting and quite frankly, hurts me almost as much as you. It’s pointless and wasteful. I would rather work with you than against you.

We can get through this, I know we can. I know you still love me. I can tell when we go for long walks in the park together or when we swim together at the beach. I can tell when you watch the birds for hours or stop and listen to the wind.

We were meant to be together. Like peas and carrots. Let’s make a new start.